The Unbearable Lightness of Being Human

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Human

Have you ever felt full of light?

Happiness strikes us like lightning sometimes. Lightness of our bodies and lightness of our thoughts; we are both illuminated of emotional darkness and lightened of physical heaviness!

When we are in this state of being, we feel more open, more compassionate and accepting of others, more able to navigate our own negativity than otherwise. We linger in the feeling of the moment! We are IN-THE-MOMENT!  And there is nothing unbearable about it!It is a darn good moment so we have plenty of reason to stay in it! Suddenly we experience confidence! We feel more relaxed, powerful, accomplished. But for most of us, this experience lasts for a limited time. We lose this feeling, we get “high-jacked” by another experience, or we fall back into our habitual pattern. Why is this experience literally unbearable? We can not seem to carry it forth for long periods of time.

Why not?  Why do we sacrifice ourselves and lose this wonderful feeling, why do we seem to have some sort of default?

Primarily, we default back to some “normal” state, or even into a lesser state of happiness than our default because we did not ignite this lightness ourselves.  This lightness is due to an external reason. We are surprised at how happy we feel, how open, how great we feel. Someone complimented us on our performance or our physical appearance or on the behavior of someone we are attached to, a child, student, co-worker, or even our pet!

 

We can be light for days because of one small comment like “You’ve lost weight!” We will feel on top of the world because someone said “What a great job you did!” That’s a great experience, to have someone affirm your work or accomplishment.

But why on earth should feeling great have to come to us externally and as a surprise?

Why are we sometimes subject to this co-dependant state? What can we do to understand our own power and use internal referencing to create happy emotional states?

 “Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat?”

 

First, let’s look at our culture! We are generally enculturated to respond to external references for self-esteem, self-confidence and self-approval.

What do we need to notice about all those hyphenated words? They start with SELF! There is nothing external about this word. Your SELF is yours alone and you empower or dis-empower yourself.  Brightness, lightness, is a choice.

Let’s consider this choice. What can we do to be the light bearer for ourselves?

Turn the light on to this term: Self-awareness. Try this short exercise!

Side A:  Light Self Patterns !           Side B:  Dark self Patterns !

 

I feel light and happy! Energized!1) When I am here:  ______________2) When I am with:  ___________ 3) When I do:  ________________ .	I feel heavy, or sad, depressed. Tired.1) When I am here:  _____________2) When I am with:  ___________ 3) When I do:  ________________ .
What triggers the lightness in the instances above? Something that: 1) I do     Another does 2) I do     Another does 3) I do     Another does	What triggers the unhappiness in the instances above? Something that: 1) I do     Another does 2) I do     Another does 3) I do     Another does
Who is in control of this situation? 1) I am    Another is 2) I am    Another is 3) I am    Another is	Who is in control of this situation? 1) I am    Another is 2) I am    Another is 3) I am    Another is

  

Consider your answers about CONTROL!

You are at step one of identifying your default pattern!

I am in control!

Most of us will say so about positive feelings. And, that’s great! You are owning your power. You are getting the idea of internally referencing. If you can take control of the issues on the bright (left) side….can’t you also be in control of the issues on the dark (right) side?

OR

 Another is in control!

Most of us will say so about negative feelings! When we externally reference we allow others to throw us out of our natural alignment and we give our power away. We give our energy away. We feel tired because we ARE tired! We let our light be drained out of us! We default to the DARK SIDE!

 NOW! Enlightenment!

 

This is the moment of realization. The true answer to all those last questions is…

YOU ARE IN CONTROL!

You have decidedto default, you have decided to give power away, you have chosen that dark reaction over the light one. This may not be a conscious choice! But it is a CHOICE! This is hard to digest. Why on earth would we choose to make ourselves unhappy? So many reasons! Life is full of reasons! But the powerful realization is : you can change this external referencing pattern that steals your light. Simply your awareness that both lightness and darkness are choices is a powerful place to stand.

Unconscious choosing means low self-awareness

Consider this conversation:

Minnie: “Why are you so mad?”

Mickey: “You make me so mad!”

ME: “No, Minnie, YOU made YOU mad! Mickey didn’t jump into your body, take control of your brain and muscle and force a drug labeled BE MAD, into your blood stream.”

The next time you stride into a one of your dark powerless emotional places. Own it as yours! Realize it. Register it as a choice you’ve made. Find internally where that choice is made, it is in there and it is yours to change. Yes, others inspired you to make your choice, sure, you reacted, perhaps you even obeyed, but only you can empower yourself. The others won’t be the ones to start the exploration of why! This is the most powerful step you can take. Be in-that-moment as you settle into default. Be curious about it. Look at it! Bear your own light into your own darkness!

 

Andrea Marie Stark is a Pasadena Psychic, Intuitive Counselor, Reiki Master, Energy Healer, Tarot Reader, Bach Flower Consultant, and Psychic who studies Mystic Shamanism and offers Chakra Balancing, Aura Clearing, Aura Reading, Reiki Training, Reiki Atunements, Shamanic Healings, Psychic Phone Readings, and Healing Workshops in and around Pasadena, CA. Andrea also studies Animal Communication.